Staying Involved When You Are a Non-Custodial Parent

calendarIf your parenting plan is arranged so that your child primarily lives with your ex or spends the most time with him or her, you may wonder how you can continue to stay involved in your child’s life and make a difference. The first thing to understand is that no matter how your parenting time is divided, you are your child’s parent and are extremely important! It sounds like a cliché, but it isn’t the quantity of time, but the quality of time that you spend that matters. There are lots of ways to stay involved in your child’s life and ensure that your child feels deeply connected to you.

  • Show up. It sounds silly, but the most important thing you can do is use your scheduled parenting time no matter what. If you show your child you are committed, it will deepen your relationship.
  • Make your home his home. Tell your child that where you live is your child’s home and it’s ok to have more than one home. Where you live is also a space that belongs to your child and is a place where he is always welcome.
  • Get information. This is particularly important if your relationship with your ex is difficult. Make an effort to get information about your child’s school, sports, activities, and health directly from the adult in charge of each area. That means personally being in touch with doctors, coaches, teachers, and other leaders in your child’s life. Ask that you receive copies of all information sent to your ex or sent home with your child. Call or email regularly to get updates and details.
  • Use technology. Stay in constant contact with your child via text, phone or email. Check in with her regularly, just to see how the child’s day went or to ask how a test went. This will show you care, are thinking about him/her, and really are involved in every part of the child’s life.
  • Make time. In addition to your scheduled parenting time, go to your child’s concerts, games, recitals, school events, and practices. Not only does this give you extra contact with your child, but it keeps you in the loop about what’s happening in his/her life.

The Sampair Group represents fathers and mothers in family court cases. Our focus is always on achieving the results you want. Our attorneys serve Phoenix and Mesa in Arizona and are ready to discuss your case.