Tips for Custodial Transfers

iStock_2 girls on cntry roadOne of the most challenging parts about parenting after divorce is transferring your child from parent to parent. These transfers can be stressful for everyone (especially your child!). Learning to make transitions easier takes time and practice. Transitions are generally the hardest the first year after the divorce or separation and when your child is young. There are things you can do to make the transfers less painful for everyone.

  • Be on time. Because this is such an emotionally charged situation, it only becomes more tense if your ex becomes annoyed if you are late. This works both ways – your ex should also be on time and if he’s not, try to calmly point it out. If lateness is chronic and become excessive, you should talk to your attorney.
  • Keep emotions out of it.  For many parents, transfer time is a moment when all the conflicting emotions surrounding the divorce and custody plan tend to pop up. It is hard to be away from your child and if you are the one going home alone, it can be challenging. Try as best as possible to shove your powerful emotions away for the moment. Deal with them later, when you are alone. This is also not the time to talk about schedules or child support issues. Save those for later was well. Focus on creating a calm transition for your child.
  • Remember that location matters. Where you transfer your child directly impacts the emotions and how people will behave. If your ex has to come to your house, she may react to your new partner or the fact that you’ve moved on and may be critical, negative, and uncooperative. If you go to your ex’s house you may be made to feel unwelcome or left out. Using a neutral transfer location (a parking lot, grandma’s house, or even down the street from your home) can remove a lot of the fireworks. At the very least, attempt to stay out of each other’s homes.

When you need an attorney who will listen to your needs and make a difference in your family law case, call the Sampair Group. Our attorneys represent clients in the Glendale, Mesa, and Phoenix areas of Arizona. Get in touch with us today.