Filing for divorce or being served with divorce papers has a way of bringing painful emotions to the forefront of your mind, and can cause you to act in ways that are outside of your normal character. It is not easy to split up a family, and sometimes the stress can get the best of even the most level headed people. But if you are able to remain calm during and after the divorce process, you will find yourself in a much healthier place and better equipped to move forward with your life.
Some tips for keeping your sanity during or after divorce includes the following ten things:
- Avoid talking about your ex in front of your children. This will not only save you from having to answer for derogatory comments in court or any other proceeding associated with your divorce, but will also allow your kids to maintain a good relationship with both parents. When the children are able to talk openly with both parents, the chances of anti-social or misbehavior is decreased. When children are well-behaved your overall home environment is more pleasant, and that is reason enough to hold your tongue.
- Accept that your ex may not follow the same set of rules that you do and that you are not in control of their actions. Letting go of trying dictate how your ex organizes the closet or puts away the dishes is emotionally freeing.
- Allow your kids to visit your former in laws and encourage them to have a good relationship with aunts, uncles, and grandparents from both sides of the family.
- Spend time alone before jumping into a new relationship. You need time to grieve the loss of your marriage, and becoming romantically involved with a new person too soon could cause confusion.
- Take up a new hobby, or rediscover an old one.
- Make smart choices about who to confide in, not everyone is your best friend at this time and you have to be careful about what you share and with whom.
- Talk to a professional counselor or therapist if you believe it will be helpful.
- Allow your kids to have liberal phone visitation with your ex. This will show that you support open lines of communication, and are not trying to interfere with your ex-spouse’s relationship with the children.
- Resort to written communication only if you are unable to carry on a civil conversation with your former spouse. You can suggest communication via text, email, or some other form of writing if in person meetings are too difficult.
- Establish and maintain boundaries that work for you. Even if your spilt was amicable and you are apt to “giving in”, take a moment to figure out your needs and learn how to say “no” when appropriate.
Whatever works for you is what you should do, as long as it is within the bounds of your decree and not questionable behavior. If you have questions about what to expect or how you can handle the transition from being married to single, call us for help.
For more information about what to expect for your kids during divorce, contact our office today. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.