After divorce, a good number of people make the decision to get remarried. In most of these instances there are children known as “his, hers, and ours”. What this means is that both parties bring kids into the marriage, and sometimes have one together. Blending families together in a subsequent marriage is tricky. Depending on the ages of your kids, you may have an unruly teenager on your hands, or a younger child who is still coming to grips with his or her parents’ divorce. How well you make the transition will impact the family dynamic, so it is important to get off on the right foot.
Some advice for how to successfully blend families, from Parenting Magazine, includes the following things:
● Know your children, and only introduce new romantic interests at appropriate times.
● Take it slow, and allow your kids to spend time with your new friend with you.
● Be clear when it comes to discipline.
Recognizing that families come in all shapes and sizes will help your children adjust to the new family. Talk about expectations with your kids, and then stick to your guns. Also take care to treat the children the same when it comes to things like rewards and punishment. If your kids see you giving preferential treatment to a stepchild, they are likely to become withdrawn or rebellious. Neither of these results is healthy, and certainly not what you’ve envisioned for your life after the divorce. If necessary, take the whole family to a therapist or counselor, and let everyone have their say. When you allow all members to actively participate in forming the new family structure, you will gain not only their trust but also their respect.
For more information about how to blend your family with a new one after divorce, call us today. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.