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Is Your Behavior The Reason For Your Divorce?

In any marriage there are a number of things that could potentially hurt the relationship to the point of separation and divorce. Avoid the following behaviors to improve your chances of a long-term, healthy marriage.

Ignoring Issues
Unexpressed feelings will only eventually build up over a period of time, turning small annoyances into very big resentments, which then leads to very heated arguments. The bigger the problem gets, the more likely each partner is to stop trusting the other, and calm communication becomes very difficult to have. To avoid this from happening, bring up and deal with issues as they come up. Confront them in a calm manner and work on them together.

Not Spending Enough Time Together
In order for a marriage to work, you need to give yourselves times to connect with each other. The less you do this, the more disconnected and distant your relationship will become. Prioritize outside factors that may be affecting your relationship, such as a job, friends, hobbies, etc., and be sure that you are working hard to make time for your partner. Go for a walk, agree to a date night, or just spend a couple of nights a week sitting around talking to each other. You may be surprised at how parallel your lives had become if other things from your busy schedule were getting in the way of your marriage.

Communication Problems
Being able to resolve issues effectively is a big factor in making a marriage work. But if you can’t approach your problems in a mature way, it’s not going to help anyone. Being passive-aggressive or slamming the door and leaving as response to an argument is not the way to go. This will give your partner the feeling of abandonment and they will feel as if you don’t care enough about the marriage to effectively handle issues that come up, no matter the nature of the conflict. To avoid this, both partners need to work together to resolving issues in a way that will meet the needs of both of you.

Invalidation
When an argument gets intense, a spouse may fall into the terrible habit of discrediting or weakening their partner as a quick reaction. Oftentimes, they will objectify their spouse or focus on only their negative characteristics as a way to destroy their self-esteem. Most partners react this way without thinking first, but that is no excuse for how it can negatively affect a person’s emotions both long-term and short-term. To avoid doing this, try and stay calm during all arguments, no matter how angry you may be. Staying calm with help you stay rational under the heat of anger and intense emotions.

Sometimes even avoiding these behaviors isn’t enough to prevent divorce. At The Sampair Group, our high conflict resolution attorneys take the time to get to know you and the circumstances of your case. Contact an experienced divorce attorney today for a free initial consultation. 

Three Ways To Keep Your Cool During Divorce

Going through a divorce is a stressful and emotionally draining experience. While some cases are resolved with little fanfare, where the parties agree on nearly every issue, most people are not so lucky. It is more common to run into an obstinate ex, where even the small issues are blown up to enormous proportion. For some, making getting a divorce hard is their goal and is way for a spouse to continue to exercise control over the situation and “push your buttons”. When this happens, it is hard to remain level headed, but keeping your cool is a must if you want to reach satisfactory results.

We know it is hard to stay calm, especially if the issues being litigated are close to your heart. Topics that generally take center stage are kids and money. These two things can bring out the worst in people, and can be hard to resolve when a couple gets divorced. The temptation to use children as leverage, or turn a soon to be ex into a pauper is too great for some people, and if this is happening to you the best thing you can do is to ignore your spouse’s efforts. This is understandably easier said than done, but here are three ways to keep your cool during divorce:

  • Take a deep breath, and remember that added stress only hurts you. When you are on edge you are less likely to make rational decisions, which may the exact outcome your spouse seeks. It is perfectly fine to take a moment to pause and gather yourself before responding to your spouse, or making a counter demand.
  • Take steps to set up healthy boundaries for yourself, perhaps by requesting communication about visitation go only through your attorneys, or in writing. If verbal communication causes you to lose your cool, remove that possibility from the picture. Not only will you have written record of what has been said, but you will be able to avoid a heated confrontation.
  • Speak with a trained counselor or therapist if necessary. Many times a skilled professional can give you tips on how to control your emotions and this will certainly come in handy if your spouse is making every issue in your divorce case a battle.

The key is to do what works for you, and for your kids. Keep in mind that your children are watching, and how you handle yourself during your divorce sets an example of acceptable behavior. Call our office today to learn more, and to get the help you need with your case.

For more information about divorce, contact our office. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.

The Top Three Reasons You Should Consider Co-Parenting

When a couple with kids gets divorced, the focus should be on what is best for the children. Most kids benefit from having both parents play an active role in their lives, and this can be difficult when the parents are no longer married. But, there are things that can be done to make sure mom and dad are both important parts of their kids’ lives, even if they are not still husband and wife. Regardless of the custody and visitation arrangement, a good co-parenting plan can help make sure your children’s needs are being met.

The top three reasons you should consider co-parenting after your divorce include:

  • Kids feel more emotionally secure when both parents take part in their lives.
  • When parents work together for the benefit of their children, fewer conflicts arise.
  • Co-parenting increases the likelihood that both parents will remain an active participant in their children’s lives.

From the time your kids are born, it is important to establish a routine. We all know babies thrive when they are on a schedule, and it also helps the parents when making plans. The need for consistency does not change just because parents get divorced. We all like to know what to expect, and kids are no exception. Successful co-parenting also gives kids the chance to see their parents working together despite their differences. This can give children a role model, and sets a good example for your kids to follow. If you have questions about how to develop a co-parenting plan that works for your family, call our office.

For more information about how to co-parent, consult a qualified legal professional. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.

 

 

The Top Three Reasons You Should Consider Co-Parenting

When a couple with kids gets divorced, the focus should be on what is best for the children. Most kids benefit from having both parents play an active role in their lives, and this can be difficult when the parents are no longer married. But, there are things that can be done to make sure mom and dad are both important parts of their kids’ lives, even if they are not still husband and wife. Regardless of the custody and visitation arrangement, a good co-parenting plan can help make sure your children’s needs are being met.

The top three reasons you should consider co-parenting after your divorce include:

  • Kids feel more emotionally secure when both parents take part in their lives.
  • When parents work together for the benefit of their children, fewer conflicts arise.
  • Co-parenting increases the likelihood that both parents will remain an active participant in their children’s lives.

From the time your kids are born, it is important to establish a routine. We all know babies thrive when they are on a schedule, and it also helps the parents when making plans. The need for consistency does not change just because parents get divorced. We all like to know what to expect, and kids are no exception. Successful co-parenting also gives kids the chance to see their parents working together despite their differences. This can give children a role model, and sets a good example for your kids to follow. If you have questions about how to develop a co-parenting plan that works for your family, call our office.

For more information about how to co-parent, consult a qualified legal professional. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.

 

The Three Most Important Parts To Your Divorce

A divorce case involves a lot of moving parts, and what matters to you may not amount to much to a friend or family member. For us, the most important part of any case is a result that makes sense and a client who is satisfied with their post-divorce life picture. We are equipped to handle divorces of any size marital estate, with or without a prenuptial agreement, divorces involving children, cases that raise paternity issues, and a host of other legal questions. The way we go about getting results that work is by talking over the details of the case with our client and developing strategies designed to reach your objectives.

While getting to specific results for each individual litigant is important, there are also some common issues that frequently arise. Experience has shown that the three most important parts to nearly every divorce case include the following:

  • A fair and equitable distribution of property and a fair apportionment of marital debt. No one wants to come out of a divorce without a home, without their personal items, and without a way to stand on their own financial feet. The way Courts divide property is in a way that is considered “fair” and this requires looking at several factors. Things like the length of the marriage, the standard of living, and the parties’ roles during the marriage are considered. The result will be one that is legally defined as equitable, which does not mean that each party will take half of what there is, or that each party will be responsible for exactly half of any debt that has been accumulated. The result is case specific, depending on the specific facts of the case.
  • A parenting plan that works, and that is in the best interests of the children. This includes coming up with a custody and visitation schedule that takes into account the preferences of older children (should a preference be voiced), the ability of the parents to care for the kids, and other family dynamics that are unique to the parties.
  • Communication about the progress of the case is key! Nearly every divorce client is ready to have their case over, and wants to know what is happening at each step along the way. A competent family law attorney will understand your need for information and make sure you are being updated regularly.

If you have been served with divorce papers or are thinking about filing for divorce, call us for help. We will explain the process to you, and take your specific needs into account when handling your case.

For help with marriage and divorce, call us today. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.

The Top Three Predictors Of A Doomed Marriage

Pinpointing the exact cause of divorce is difficult. That’s because no two couples are alike, and no two marriages are the same. What works for you, and what you can tolerate, is very different from what your family or friends are willing to handle. No one goes into their marriage with the idea it will end in divorce, but the simple truth is most marriages do end in this way. When that happens, a skilled family law attorney can help make sure the property is distributed equitably, and that issues such as child custody and support are decided fairly. But, if you are interested in knowing beforehand the chances that your marriage will not make it, take a look below.

Experienced family counselors and therapists are very good at looking at the circumstances and predicting the success of the marriage. Some of the considerations include:

  • Couples that marry younger, and with a lower level of education, tend to get divorced at a higher rate than their older and more educated counterparts.
  • Running to the altar, when only one party is pushing for quick nuptials, can also spell divorce.
  • A lack of trust, or having insecurities about yourself or the relationship will create problems that can lead to divorce.

Not every marriage with these characteristics is doomed, but research reveals the more of these factors that are present, the higher your chances of getting divorced. It can be helpful to know these things before tying the knot, because you may just save yourself a lot of heartache and emotional trauma. However, if you are already married and considering divorce, you should take action to protect your interests and work towards a resolution that is fair. If you have questions about divorce, call our office and let us help you.

For more information about divorce, consult a qualified legal professional. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.

 

 

Financial Consequences of Short-Term Marriage and Divorce

In most states, a short-term marriage is a length of approximately 1 to 5 years. If either spouse seeks a divorce after a short-term marriage, it is important to be aware of the financial agreements that do or do not apply to both parties involved.

Alimony, also called spousal support/maintenance, is financial support from one spouse to another based upon the financial situation of the supported spouse at the time of the divorce proceedings. Alimony awarded in a divorce decree can be temporary, assigned for a specific time length, or permanent.

In short-term marriages, the court rarely awards alimony, especially if the spouse that is requesting the divorce is employed or employable. Those involved in a short-term marriage might find themselves better off without a prenuptial agreement. Alimony is generally only granted in short-term marriages if agreed upon by the parties through a prenuptial agreement or some other financial agreement that states a right to maintenance after a divorce. In short-term marriages, each spouse will generally yield a relatively small award of maintenance, if it is given at all.

There is also a question of equitable distribution of marital property. People in short-term marriages usually have less time to acquire a significant amount of property. Marital property is defined as all property acquired by either spouse during the course of a marriage, even if the property is not listed in both names. Some exceptions include a property acquired by gift or inheritance, property acquired before the marriage, property acquired after a judgment of legal separation, or property excluded by an agreement between both parties.

In both long-term and short-term marriages, equitable distribution involves determining what is fair and just for both parties. In a short-term marriage, however, since less property is usually acquired in the short amount of time, the court will consider property value differences in evaluating division of property. This can include property ranging from personal items to real estate.

To determine how much property you and your spouse will be entitled to after ending a short-term marriage, it is important to speak to a Phoenix divorce lawyer about your legal options. Contact an experienced family law attorney at The Sampair Group today for a free consultation.

Three Things To Know Before Filing For Divorce

The decision to file for divorce is hard one to make, and should only be done after a lot of careful consideration. But the process is different for everyone and you have to make sure that filing to end your marriage is right for you. Coming to this decision can be done through independent thought, with the help of family and friends, or after counseling from a qualified professional. However there is one person that you should talk to first, so you are prepared for what lies ahead and will have an idea of what to expect during your case. That person is a knowledgeable family law attorney, and we can give you the information you need to help make this hard decision.

Arizona divorce laws address every issue that may potentially arise in a divorce case. The following three seem to be the most frequently asked, and the most important for many people considering filing for divorce:

  • How will your property be divided, and what will you be responsible for after the divorce? Most people need to know what bills will be paid by which party, and who will get to keep the house. This type of information comes in handy when planning a future budget and when trying to figure out if you will need to pack up and move. The Courts strive for an equitable distribution of property, and what this means is that the Court will make orders that are considered fair. This does not necessarily mean equal, so you should not expect an exact 50/50 split of all of your property and bills.
  • Who will get Legal Decision Making (formerly known in Arizona as “Custody”) of the kids? Knowing that your kids’ lives will remain as unchanged as possible can be a great comfort if you are getting divorced. Part of this means knowing where your kids will live. If a move is necessary, that could also include changing schools and making new friends. It is hard enough for a child to have their family split up, and making other changes can add to their stress level. But if you have an idea of where your kids will live you can help them make the adjustment easier.
  • After custody is determined the next logical question is how much child support will be paid and how has to make the payment? This information is helpful when planning vacations, budgets, and after school activities. There is a formula the Courts use for determining child support and it can quickly become complex. The formula takes into account the earnings of each party, but can also be deviated from in the event of special circumstances. In order to identify any special circumstances in your case the skill of a trained family law attorney is needed.

Reaching an agreement on these things before filing is helpful, but not required. Our job is to find solutions to all of the issues of your case, and we do that by talking with you about your needs. Call today for more information.

For help with marriage and divorce, call us today. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.

When Is Divorce Likely?

Some people say that the hardest year of marriage is the first, and that if a couple can make it past their first anniversary it is smooth sailing from that point forward. But statistics show that divorce can happen to a newlywed couple just as easily as it can to a couple that has been married twenty years or more. With with reports of so many “young” marriages coming to an end (mostly celebrity marriages) it is interesting to take a look at why some marriages are more short lived than others.

Some common reasons for a break up of a marriage less than a year old include:

  • Infidelity.
  • The couple grows apart, especially if they married young and were unable to give up a youthful lifestyle.
  • Having different ideas about if and when to start a family (which may also be a basis for seeking an annulment rather than filing for divorce).
  • Debt, or disproportionate salaries among the parties.
  • Simply not being ready to take on the responsibilities that go along with being married.

While these instances can happen to a marriage older than a year old, they are more common among new unions. When marriage is entered into without a full appreciation for what it takes to make it last, the chances of a long life together are slim. There is no shame in ending a marriage, but it is important to do so in a way that works for you. As strange as it may sound, there is such a thing as a successful divorce. The key to getting there is to partner with a trained family law attorney, to make sure your interests are protected. Even a short lived marriage can result in significant debt, which must be divided between the parties. And, along with the idea that a shorter marriage can end with the parties in debt, is the idea that substantial wealth can be accumulated. In both instances the distribution of debts and assets must be fair and equitable. If you are considering divorce, call our office to find out what you can expect during your case.

For more information about divorce, call us today. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.

The Top Five Things You Can Learn About Marriage, From Divorce

Most of life’s difficult events are a learning opportunity. Going through a divorce is no exception. While it is hard to end a marriage, it can be even harder to walk away without having learned a life lesson or two. Our hope is that your divorce results are satisfactory to you and work for your family, while also preparing you for what lies ahead. Whether your future holds a new romance, or reconnecting with your kids, we are here to help.

The list is long and usually case specific on what can be learned about marriage from getting divorced, but the top five lessons include:

  • A relationship that was not at its best prior to marriage is not going to get any better. We all have certain visions about what our married life will look like, and it is important to avoid falling into the trap of making just any person fit that picture. Rather than trying to make someone change to be what you’ve envisioned, it is better to find a mate that already possesses many of the qualities you desire. If you try to change your spouse after marriage, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and possible divorce.
  • Getting married is the easy party, but undoing a marriage is hard work. The issues that must be resolved at divorce are hard issues. Figuring out where the kids will live and who gets what pieces of property is not something anyone prepares for when they are planning a wedding. And, as hard as it might seem to figure out a seating chart for your reception, figuring out who pays what bills after divorce is infinitely more difficult.
  • Marriages are constantly evolving. If you are unable to recognize the qualities within yourself and your spouse that initially drew you together, it will be hard to make a marriage that lasts.
  • Make sure you are ready to get married before you walk down the aisle. For some people, this takes longer than others. If you still have things you want to do, and places you want to go on your own before getting married; do it! The alternative is to give up on some of the things you wanted out of life, and that can cause resentment that may lead to divorce. Talk about your desires with your spouse, and make sure you are on the same page before tying the knot.
  • Take steps to grow together rather than apart, this is especially important for couples that get married young. It is beneficial to understand that you will not be the same person you are today in twenty years from today, and if you marry someone who grows in a different direction, you could find yourself married to a stranger.

Of course each case is different, and our job is to help you through divorce in the way that works for you. We will listen to your needs, and take steps to make sure those needs are met. Contact our office today to find out more about marriage and divorce.

For more information about divorce, contact our office. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.