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Advice For Subsequent Marriages And Blended Families

After divorce, a good number of people make the decision to get remarried. In most of these instances there are children known as “his, hers, and ours”. What this means is that both parties bring kids into the marriage, and sometimes have one together. Blending families together in a subsequent marriage is tricky. Depending on the ages of your kids, you may have an unruly teenager on your hands, or a younger child who is still coming to grips with his or her parents’ divorce. How well you make the transition will impact the family dynamic, so it is important to get off on the right foot.

Some advice for how to successfully blend families, from Parenting Magazine, includes the following things:

●          Know your children, and only introduce new romantic interests at appropriate times.

●          Take it slow, and allow your kids to spend time with your new friend with you.

●          Be clear when it comes to discipline.

Recognizing that families come in all shapes and sizes will help your children adjust to the new family. Talk about expectations with your kids, and then stick to your guns. Also take care to treat the children the same when it comes to things like rewards and punishment. If your kids see you giving preferential treatment to a stepchild, they are likely to become withdrawn or rebellious. Neither of these results is healthy, and certainly not what you’ve envisioned for your life after the divorce. If necessary, take the whole family to a therapist or counselor, and let everyone have their say. When you allow all members to actively participate in forming the new family structure, you will gain not only their trust but also their respect.

For more information about how to blend your family with a new one after divorce, call us today. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.

Helping Kids Adjust To Your New Blended Family

Glendale, Arizona divorce lawyerWith the divorce rates so high, it’s no surprise that more kids than ever are experiencing the new transition of being a part of a blended family if one or both of their parents remarries. Blended families can be complicated to navigate, but there are ways to ensure that your children (and you) are a part of a happy home.

After a divorce, the transition into a blended family can cause conflict or discomfort. Your children may have trouble to adjusting to following the rules that their new stepparent puts forth or they might not be bonding right away with their new siblings. There are some tips you can follow in order to make this transition smooth and helpful for all involved to cope with these new, big changes.

Keep Your Children Involved
Remarriage and a transition into a new life is a big one, but don’t forget to include your child at all times where it is appropriate. If your new family is moving into a new home, leave room for your child to voice their opinions on their own living situations, such as their bedroom. If they are used to having their own room and all of a sudden now must share with their new sibling, you need to talk with them beforehand and have a long discussion about the new changes, always leaving plenty of room for them to voice their concerns. Take into consideration what they are saying and do what you can to reassure them that you will do your best to make it a smooth transition for them. Keep them up to date with everything new happening so there aren’t any surprises.

Be Patient
Patience is huge when it comes to something so new like this for your children. It is natural to want to see your children and your new stepchildren get along as quickly and as best as possible, but know that it will take time and don’t force it. Allow your children to feel out the situation themselves and go at their own pace when it comes to bonding with their new siblings. Discover any common interests that they all may have and try and organize activities they will all enjoy without forcing too much planning down their throats. Let them adjust at their own pace, even if it’s not fast enough for you.

Support Children Living in Two Separate Households
Doing the back-and-forth, parent-to-parent thing is difficult for children, and often they will be transitioning between two sets of stepparents and step siblings. This transition can be overwhelming, and as a parent it is your job to ease the stress. The night before your child leaves your house to go to the other house, talk to them about how they are feeling, if they need to pack anything for any special events coming up in the week, and anything else they may want to talk to you about before leaving for a few days. Your child may also feel like they will be missing out on any activities while they are gone, so it is important to assure them that they will have a great time when they leave.

Keep Biological Family Bonds Close
With so many new changes to their family and the addition of not only a new parent but likely new siblings as well, your child may start to feel somewhat disconnected from their other biological parent. Always be sure that your child has access to their parent if they need to talk or anything, and don’t make them feel like they can only now go to their stepparent for the needs that their biological parents are supposed to help fulfill.

For more information on co-parenting and helping your child transition into a new family life, contact the Glendale family law attorneys at The Sampair Group. Visit www.sampair.com for more information and a free consultation.

Will My New Marriage Impact Child Support?

child supportIn most states, the laws surrounding child support state that the remarriage of either parent should not have any impact on a child support agreement.

Even if the noncustodial parent remarries and takes in a new family (stepchildren, etc.), their responsibility to their first family is not eliminated.

Depending on any significant circumstances that take place after the divorce, the court may sometimes modify the child support order. This could include many happenings, including a loss of job or financial hardships. The court will review the circumstances with each parent and recalculate the new amount that must be paid for child support. If the spouse that has to pay child support is the one getting remarried, they may try and contest the amount now that they have to support a new spouse and family.

If this is the case, it is required that you are notified in advance of a court date to discuss these terms. In the time up until the case, you should consult with a Glendale child custody attorney to discuss your options and prepare an argument.

If your spouse remarries, it is likely that there will be no increase to your child support order, since new spouses are not legally responsible to help financially support their stepchildren. However, if your ex-spouse and their new spouse have children together, this could change things. Since some of your ex’s income must now include their biological children with their new spouse, your child support might be reduced. The more children there are to support, the more the monthly payments decrease.

Circumstances surrounding child support agreements can always change and there are many different steps that must be taken. For more assistance in making sure your child receives an adequate amount of child support in correlation with your ex-spouses income, contact The Sampair Group today at www.sampair.com for a free consultation.