Nearly every child of divorce can tell you the how, when, and where of learning their parents planned to divorce; but the “why” is usually missing. Most people, and especially children need to know why things happen in order to process the event and move forward. For kids, being provided an explanation as to why their parents are splitting can help immensely with the adjustment to post-divorce life. And, when the kids are able to adjust without significant struggle, it can make it easier for the parents to do so as well.
If you are looking for advice on how to tell your children you are getting divorced, here are three good ways to break the news that may not also include breaking their hearts:
- Avoid a confrontation, or a heated discussion that is just a room away from where your child sleeps. If your kids overhear you arguing, they are likely to hear all of the emotion and regrettable words, which can live on well past the entry of the divorce decree. Instead of closing the bedroom door and having a discussion that could easily escalate, sit down with your kids and tell them what is going on together. This will show that you trust your kids enough to let them in on family decisions, and will also help give them a sense of security of their place in the family structure.
- Avoid breaking the news around a holiday or birthday. If you decide to tell your kids about the divorce around Thanksgiving, they are likely to form a negative association with that holiday for the remainder of their adult life. While there is no good time to get divorced and to tell your children you are doing so, there is an element of timing to consider. Try to find a time that is not close to a holiday or other event your child enjoys. Doing so will help to make those times of the year less stressful on your kids for years to come.
- Be honest with your kids about the facts rather than trying to sugar coat everything. The amount of information you provide your kids is up to you, and of course their ages are a factor in what is said. But the more you are able to tell your kids, while also letting them know some issues are off limits as adults only issues, the more prepared your kids will be to face life as a child of divorce.
Our team of qualified family law professionals is here to help you in any way you need before, during, and after your divorce. Call us today to find out more.
For more information about divorce, call us today. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.